Fact (despite some obfuscation):

The following includes a factual account of my own experience conduction an idio-protest also known as a one-person protest.

I am still trying to maintain my anonymity, so let’s call my employer LGE for Local Government Entity, and, as in “you can’t fight city hall,” LGE refers to both the edifice and the those who run it.

In a previous post about doing two small things a day to make the world a better place, an AI writer brought up Greta Thunberg and her efforts to sway Sweden to adopt The Paris Accords. She skipped school and passed out leaflets. Within a week, other Swedish students and their parents joined her movement. As an idio-protest, her’s was short lived.

In contrast, my idio-protest lasted four months and never broke any laws.

Background:

I had been bicycle commuting for ten years. LGE had no shower facilities save for a cold water OSHA shower for chemical burns, and that shower, as undesirable as it would have been, was off limits. I learned to towel bath in the men’s restroom. All LGE’s restrooms were multi-user so no washing behind locked doors, no privacy from other restroom users.

Towel Bathing at Work:

Towel bathing logistics requires a little explanation. First, at my desk I kept a bottle of liquid soap. Trader Joe’s Refresh or Tea Tree Tingle worked the best. Also anti-antiperspirant or deodorant and a hairbrush. I kept back-ups for the soap and deodorant because I drove to work one day a week and timing usage didn’t work so well. I also have a pair of office shoes at my desk.

Every day, I packed my pannier (2500 cubic inch bag hanging off the bike’s rear rack) with a large towel (bath sheet sized ones I also used on gym days) and my office clothes for the day.

To a large degree, only my upper body sweated. My hair was often drenched. I wore Buffs folded into sweat bands. They absorbed a great deal of head sweat, and, since they are made of microfiber, they dried completely by the end of work. I only washed my torso and arms before changing into my office clothing.

I removed my jersey. I usually wore a soccer jersey. Like the Buff, they are made of microfiber and dried completely by the time I put it back on for the ride home. For washing I left on my compression shorts and gym shorts.

Towel bathing follows, roughly, the same process as washing hands. Wet so soap with spreads better, apply soap, lather, rinse and dry. The difference is that the towel is used in these steps. Think of the towel as four (really just three) sections. Wet one section (I choose the corner with sewn on tags) and wring out excess water. Use this section to wet arm and torso. Sometimes, this has to be done multiple times.

When finished wetting, wring the towel section as best as possible. Apply soap to the towel and work it in a little. Apply soap to skin using the towel section. Make sure the soap lathers. Lather lifts dirt and sweat from the skin, so lather is important.

Use the section next to the soap section for rinsing leaving the bottom half of the towel for drying. Wet, wring, remove lather with towel and repeat until clean. This is the longest part. It often takes multiple passes to remove all the lather. Bamboo based towels are the most efficient and take up less space in the pannier, so they might be worth the expense.

Dry using the, well, dry half of the towel. After drying, use the drying half of the towel to dry up any spillage on the floor and counter; it’s only polite.

I carry a thick plastic bag. Sketchers shopping bags and Performance Bicycle bags worked the best. Remove my office clothes: a dress shirt, pair of slacks and a belt. Place the towel into the plastic bag and then stow the bag back into the pannier. At this point, I slip off my cycling shoes, slip off my gym shorts leaving on compression shorts, put on my office slacks, apply deodorant, adorn my dress shirt, affix my belt and brush my hair. I pack up my soap, deodorant and brush into their own plastic bag (sorry forgot to mention that before) and depart.

I brought a hat rack to work. Previously, I usually hung my soggy Buff on the hat rack. I now hang my soccer jersey and gym shorts as well. The towel remains packed away in its plastic bag in the pannier.

Of note: I wear compression shorts throughout the day. As I said, they are perfectly dry after the ride. They are also make of thick lycra-like material and are completely opaque. This is an important detail.

More Background:

LGE moves its personal around for new projects and pointless reorgs. My group expanded for a new project. LGE moved us to an area where we were not welcome. A member of upper management told us to be on our best behavior. Admittedly, our core group enjoyed a reputation for elevated amplitude. My manager and I were famous for engaging in debates which let to wagers which I generally won sparking celebratory boasting. So, I interpreted this to cool down on celebrations and, perhaps, debates. By this time, I’d been towel bathing every morning I rode a bicycle to work for ten years.

In the past, I received complaints in person. I explained the situation and ask for reasonable alternatives. Absent reasonable alternatives, their complaints ceased. In this new location, someone complained to upper management, namely the LGE Divisional HR Manager.

Remember the hat rack above. At one time, my cubicle was near his office. The cubicle aisle was too narrow to place my hat rack there. I put it outside my cubicle wall near a disused file cabinet. This was also near the HR office. The Divisional HR manager hung his suit jacket on my hat rack. I removed his jacket, hung it neatly off the disused file cabinet and placed a yellow sticky note informing the owner of the jacket that the hat rack was my personal property and that the owner needs to find another place for his jacket (Honestly, I did not know whose it was).

The Divisional HR Manager sent the Divisional HR Representative to tell me that his boss wants me to cease hanging my underwear out in public. I pointed out that soccer jerseys and gym shorts do not count as underwear, and, given my cubicle location, I’m willing to discuss reasonable alternatives. He returned an hour later to tell me that HR was going to file charges. I’m not sure of my phrasing, but I was willing to prove HR staff’s mental incompetence if they did. The HR Rep was sorta a friend as he was a hobbyist cyclist and we often discussed bicycle components and riding strategies. He laughed and I thought the matter was resolved. The HR Manager, however, took advantage of his position to remind me he was in charge.

Informal Notice:

There was a meeting about our groups behavior, and the matter of towel bathing was brought up. I was on vacation that day, and I only found out the next day.

My manager drew me aside and told me of the meeting. The director of the area where we were not welcome brought up my cleaning activities in the men’s restroom, and the Divisional HR Manager declared, “That’s public nudity.” According to my manager, his changing from an office shirt to a tee shirt for his walk home also counted as “public nudity.”

I sent off an email asking for clarification, pointing out inconsistencies in the HR Manager’s reasoning and so on. After several exchanges, the HR position was that the only place inside LGE where I could clean myself after riding a bicycle to work was the enclosed toilet stalls.

Formal Notice:

A week before the election in which the LGE endorsed a local ballot proposition urging alternate commuting to relieve traffic on city streets, I was called into the HR Rep’s office. He had been given the case. He handed over a formal memo spelling out restricted rights to office restrooms and included the public nudity accusation. I threatened to expose this as unfair treatment. He reminded me of confidentiality requirements. Talk to a reporter without permission, lose your job. Talk to cycling groups about this, lose your job and so on. He also told me he was in possession of a memo from Legal, and I could be much more trouble than I imagined.

Analysis and Raction (aka More Background):

I asked for a copy of the Legal memo. I was told that I needed a union rep for that. In California, almost all public employees who are simply workers and nothing like a political appointees are represented by bargaining units. In my case, a union. I contacted my union rep. Both he and I requested a copy of the legal memo. No memo was produced. After a couple of months, I submitted a public records request. After six weeks, I received a notice that no such records exist. I appealed and asked them to ask the HR Rep who claimed possession of the memo. Public records reported that no such memo ever existed.

For clarification, all restrooms in question were several floors up in a secured building. More importantly, there were “No Trespassing” signs stenciled on all entrances. By California law, anything not visible from outside “no trespassing” signs is considered private, so whatever I was doing was by no means public. As for the nudity part of the accusation, California’s Indecent Exposure (Penal Code 314 PC) seemed the closest entitled law, and towel bathing did not violate state law, not even close.

California’s Indecent Exposure law (314 PC) must include a sexual component and only includes intentional exposure of genitalia for sexual gratification. Anyone convicted of Indecent Exposure must register as a sex offender. LGE is allowed to use Sex Offender Registries to deny or terminate employment. So the “public nudity” accusation was very serious.

Because the State’s Indecent Exposure law is applied very narrowly, many local entities (cities and counties) have their own exposure laws. The county had two, one for parks and beaches. The city also had one as well. In this case, the three local Nudity and Disrobing contained similar verbiage. Actually, most municipalities in California with local ordinances and codes regarding nudity has similar language and are probably copies of some original source. They all list several anatomical parts all of which must be covered to avoid nudity violations. My favorite is “natal cleft” or, in the venacular, plumber’s crack.

Above, I noted that I wore compression shorts at all times while towel bathing. My compression shorts opaquely covered all listed body parts, so, no nudity in the “public nudity” accusation.

In California Torts, falsely accusing someone of a crime is defamation per se. I actually knew that at the time. I asked around and discovered that LGE fiercely defends itself in lawsuits. It would cost about $200K to pursue a successful law suit against the HR team and LGE. At the time, I didn’t think I could afford a law suit. I could take out a second mortgage, but the cost of losing would be too high.

I decided to continue pursuing the issue with union representation. Mistake. The union contract expressly forbids the union from pursuing actions against individuals including abusive HR people. It was clear to me, that this was, in part, the Divisional HR Manager trying to “get me.” Okay, forget trying, he had me, and the best way out would have been a law suit against him. Since he could claim he was acting in an official, or ministerial, capacity, I also had to sue LGE.

In torts, you have to sue everyone who might have liability. Leave someone out, and everyone who was really liable points their fingers at the left out person or entity. After losing that lawsuit, try suing that person, and he’ll point his finger at the others. Two losses. So, even if you end up suing some of your friends, sue everyone and everything who might be liable. Let the court winnow the defendants down. In fact, when filing a tort, you include Does 1 through (let’s say) 99 just in case discovery uncovers another possible liable party.

The union process took eighteen months. During that time I had to towel bathe over a toilet. To make matters worse, these were automatic toilets. They flushed over and over again, often as many as thirty times, while I tried to clean myself. Google toilet plume. It’s real and it spreads bacteria all over the restroom.

At first, I felt nauseated from the experience. My body screamed for calories, but forcing food into me took considerable effort.

Towel Bathing Over A Toilet:

Much the same as at a sink. The steps are the same, but there is no faucet. As a cyclist, I own several water bottles. It takes two. I always keep spares since you never know when one will escape the bottle cage in traffic and not be worth the risk of retrieval.

So I set up two opened water bottles up on the handicap rail leaning against the wall.

Obviously, put the toilet seat up. Ignore the flush.

To wet the towel for wetting and rinsing the skin, tuck the dry half of the towel between knees, raise the appropriate section over the toilet with one hand and pick up a water bottle and gently pour water from the bottle so that it would only get on the intended section and spillage falls into the toilet.

Since I have a weak back, repeating this maneuver twenty or so times often exacerbated back aches.

The rest of the towel bathing procedure went much the same, save, given how men often over esteem their aim, forget about mopping up spillage that missed the toilet.

Planning The Protest:

The confidentiality constraint coupled with an unaffordable lawsuit left very few options.

The HR Rep believed I had none. He as partially correct. I could file a complaint against him and his manager. The union could have no role in that complaint, so I’d be on my own.

Car dealers get the better of even knowledgeable customers. It’s their arena. They know their cars, they know how much money they have in them, they know how much it costs per day to keep them on their lots, they know hidden flaws in used cars and even new cars. They take advantage of those who did not already arrange financing for the car including interest first loans, as opposed to simple interest loans.

Filing complaints was HR’s arena.

It took a week to come up with a two pronged attack. The first prong, filing a complaint against HR staff, failed. LGE has a policy that if you file a complaint against high enough LGE officers, they are handled by the Equal Opportunity Office (EOO). The Divisional HR Manager retired before my union finally agreed they could do nothing to help. The position was unfilled at the time. The HR Rep was still in place. I filed my complaint for bullying, disrespectful treatment and violation of LGE ethics policy for dishonesty regarding the memo from Legal.

EOO refused the complaint and sent it to the division head, back into HR’s arena. LGE policy about any bullying claim requires a complete investigation in six weeks. Six weeks later, no investigation. It just so happens, the compliance officer was the same EOO who refused my complaint. After two rounds of urging the EOO to insure compliance, no investigation. HR staff squelched my complaint. So much for policies. I’m thankful this was the lesser part of my plan.

The major part of my plan involved the actual idio-protest. I was going to move, my towel bathing from toiler stalls to the street in front of LGE.

Preparation:

Simply getting yelled at for washing myself in front of LGE before my shift started, i.e. while people rushed to start their shifts in time, would be pointless unless I could explain why I am doing it. Confidentiality restrictions prevented disclosure.

There was a convenient loophole to the confidentiality restrictions. I could always disclose anything in the public record. I produced a handout including the Formal Notification Memo and my own discourse on it. I took the tack that alternate commuting was in LGE’s interest. Their own endorsement of a proposition supported that position. The two main factors people do not ride bicycles to work are fear of car strikes and not being able to clean up for work. Surprisingly, not being able to ferry a pot luck contributions and social isolation or being labeled a freeloadedr is never cited as a concern. The later observation was excluded from my speech. The Memo’s discouragement of cycling and similar alternate commuting was added as it worked against LGE’s stated position. I finished by saying LGE should not forbid hygienic activities in their restrooms which were perfectly legal on the street in actual public.

I should never be allowed to speak in public. I completely blew my three minutes before LGE’s board. I stammered, stumbled, yammered, but I did pass several copies of the memo and my intended speech to the assistant for board member distribution, and the secretary took a copy to be included into the record. IT WAS IN THE PUBLIC RECORD. So an un-triumphant success.

The last preparation was to pick a spot in front of LGE. An advantage to idio-protests is, as long as the lone participant does not obstruct access to anything, they require no permit. I chose a spot about twenty feet from the entrance where I could prop up my bicycle against a tree.

I used the bicycle to help carry my pannier and hold my other supplies. More importantly, I used the Fly-6 camera mounted under my bike’s saddle to record events.

I presented my materials to LGE’s board on a Tuesday and waited two days for a response. None. I chickened out on Friday. My union rep thought I was crazy. I might have been crazy to expect any support from my union.

Forgot to Mention:

The last effort my union took was to arrange a meeting with a director of interior spaces. My union rep was interested in addressing the needs of LGE’s transgender employees and visitors. To my knowledge, there were no transgender employees in my LGE workplace, but it was where LGE’s board met and there were many central administrative offices. By lumping in my concern with transgender concerns, my rep was able to get a meeting.

There are laws in California requiring private restrooms to accommodate transgender people. There are exceptions for buildings build long before that law’s implementation. LGE was also build before the implementation of the Universal Plumbing Code which requires a certain number of restroom devices (urinals and toilets) per quantity of people (I am not aware of the actual formula). LGE needed four more such devices to be compliant. LGE had to file an UPC exception request each year for the building.

The Protest:

The Monday after my board appearance, I left my desk with my pannier and toiletries bag. Instead of entering the toilet stall, I unlocked my bike, loaded it, walked to the spot I picked, activated my Fly-6 taillight/camera and commenced to wash my torso and arms. The same technique for washing over a toilet worked for washing on a sidewalk over a gutter.

I put on my dress shirt, but saved switching out of my gym shorts for upstairs in the toilet stall. Sidewalks are dirtier than stall floors, and there is nowhere to sit should I needed to. I returned and relocked my bicycle, then upstairs to adorn pants in a toilet stall. I put everything away at my desk. I went down to the cafeteria to gather a breakfast, ate at my desk and then attended a meeting.

My manager greeted me at my desk after the meeting. A police sergeant visited my desk while I was away. It spooked my manager. I explained my idio-protest. He thought it nonsense. The police sergeant left his card and asked my manager to have me call him.

There were several complaints. I explained to the officer that the purpose of a demonstration is to show that the authority’s position is wrong, or in this case, ridiculous. The sergeant said I should use LGE facilities for my washing. I emailed him the materials I presented to the board. He said he’d get back to me. I continued my protest every day I rode to work. A few days later, the sergeant emailed back. There were no LGE facilities I could use. Duh. Although my demonstration broke no laws, it generated complaints every day. I should reconsider. I thanked the sergeant and informed him that I found washing on the street more pleasant than washing over a toilet.

A police officer patrolled the sidewalks around LGE every morning. I never gathered support from the cycling community. No news van stopped to interview me, though, on several occasions, they parked less than fifty yards away to cover stories regarding LGE. A homeless person took inspiration from my practice and started washing himself around the corner. And so it went, day after day, week after week.

I rarely ventured to the second floor. Not much there save a couple conference rooms, a bridge to a parking structure I didn’t use and building management where ID/Access badges are made. Had I visited the south side of the second floor, I would have noticed it blocked off. Some big remodeling project.

Two months later, my union rep dragged me to the second floor.

“You did it!” She pointed to a tarped off area.

“Yeah, right. What?”

“Do you know what that is?”

“Asbestos removal?”

“No, they are building your bathrooms.”

“Do I get a key?”

No keys. LGE built four private use bathrooms, two were accessed through the building management office (lucky them), two anyone could access. Neither of the later displayed any plaque of commemoration bearing my name. They were definitely not “my bathrooms.”

I continued protesting during the two months before the second floor private bathrooms were opened. Several more people congratulated me, and some blamed me. Layoff’s were announced. A few of the building management people told me they were building those bathrooms to get me off the street.

I tried asking about the bathrooms, but no official information about them could be uncovered. I filed another public information request. The information came a week before they opened.

Four new “all gender” bathrooms were requested. Total estimated cost: $60,000 or one mid level clerical position. The official reason: To bring LGE up to code.

Since there is no code for providing cyclists a place to freshen up after riding to work, nor did the California code for “all gender” bathrooms apply (since the building was too old), the applicable code must have been the UPC.

The most amazing piece of information: The approval date for the four bathroom’s construction was the first day of my idio-protest. Those that knew LGE knew that nothing happens in just one day. The bathrooms must have been in the works for weeks or months

Result:

The new bathrooms opened. They were not what I wanted. I wanted access to sinks and counters in bathrooms on whatever floor on which I worked. Well, you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might achieve an unegotiated workable compromise.

I justified my protest on the premise that LGE provided no interior place for me to freshen up. Without the premise, I could find no reason to pursue my protest.

Greta Thunberg was invited to speak before congress. I slipped back from notoriety to obscurity.